Oh, teaching! This is the wonderful world I willingly (and enthusiastically) entered and continually hope I don’t lose love for. In the two short months as a college adjunct, I have heard things and I have seen things that have made me laugh uncontrollably, made my jaw drop in horror and was told things I would assume only the crazies say. So, I feel, it is only fitting that I compile the, um, most interesting answers and statements I have heard whithin the four walls of my (super cool) classroom.
And now, I present them to you:
“Wait, so, do we have to memorize the vocabulary?”
-Nursing student, upon being told there would be a quiz on the unit we just completed.
“So that’s how you say that? ¡Dále!”
-Student upon learning how to say ninety-five.
“You write Kobe Bryant is better than LeBron James on that board and you walk out this classroom”.
-Quick exercise on the comparatif.
“Oh, is he tall?”
-Student’s first reaction upon seeing a picture of Omar Borkan after an exercise of superlatives.
Student [holding up test]: Why did you mark this wrong?
Me [points at incomplete answer]: It was a two-part answer and you left the second half blank.
Sudent: That’s impossible.
“Oh, but Miss, I was writing something else when you were explaining that!”
-Student’s defense upon being confronted after the failure of an entire section on a quiz.
“Why would you take off points for accents!? That’s not right! You don’t do that on French 1 or French 2! You do that on French 3! That’s ridiculous!”
-Same student as above. Seems to be an expert in the matter.
Me: Anyone having any issues with the online homework?
[several hands go up]
Student [same one as the other cases]: (proudly) I don’t!
Me: All right, I’m going to speak with tech-support and-
Student without issue [cutting in]: I have been having problems, yeah!
Me: You just said you didn’t. And I already saw your progress report online. You’ve completed all the questions.
Student: No, I don’t have any problems with it.
Me: [After a particularly passionate, though succinct, explanation about the Basque Country and the Basque mouvement for independence].
Me: [has a small heart attack after nearly misreading the following sentence on an exercise: “Malthide brosse son chat”.]
Francophone student: OH MISS YOU DIRTY!
BECAUSE EDUCATION, MAN.